Well, I finally opened the foster to adopt packet. It hasn't made my day so good. I asked them to put the state restrictions for foster children and a pool. We will have to have a four foot fence around the entire pool. It has to have a self-closing and self-latching gate. I can only guess how much that will cost! Like I can talk John into putting that up when I told him this morning that I didn't think we needed a dining room table to replace the old one because we are serious about getting out of debt this time!
Then there is TB screening. Well we all had that when Toben came home...but I didn't bother to take anyone back because they were all negative...but since I didn't take them back, it is not recorded. STUPID, I know! Just frustrates me with myeslf! One of many things today!
Plus I look at all the paper work and think, ugh, not again! I have filled out so many applications, etc that I am sick of it! I know...tell you about it for all you in the process! And yes, in the end it is worth it...if you know that you will actually get to puruse it!
The first time I felt overwhelmed with the need to pray for our next child's mom was in church sometime in April. I had a sense that something big was happening that day and I needed to pray protection around her and the baby...I had wondered what it was....was it the say she found out she was pregnant, was she considering an abortion? The feeling was so strong that it brought tears to my eyes. If it was the day she found out she was pregnant, the baby is probably due around Chrsitmas. I have felt an extreme urgency to get whatever we need to do whatever direction we feel called to go done by Christmas. But if we don't get on it asap, that will not happen. It takes at least three months to get licensed for CPS even through private agencies unless we drive all over Texas to take classes which I can't imagine John doing that either! Maybe I am just nuts and there was never really a baby after all! Maybe I am supposed to be content with the four I have now......
Just feel defeated today. Since we are now without a church family, and I really don't have any close girl friends here, you are my only sorce of venting! Sorry for the downer!
8 comments:
First, don't ever be sorry for a downer...you are human, and we all need to vent. You are transparent and that is why I love you! Funny thing is we have the same things going on...just a bit different. The kids I thought we were suppose to pursue found out today they found their forever home...yeah, but left me wondering if I am even close to hearing God. Sometimes I can be so sure, but others...why is that? All I remember telling myself, and now you...find the peace and you'll find God's direction in it all! Praying as always for you, love you!
What? It has been so long since we've spoken. Am I reading this right?
Call me!
I understand about the paperwork! While working on Amy's stuff I have felt this way several times. I've done this so much, haven't I paid my dues? But, the kids are always worth it (even if the paperwork does kill me one of these days!).
Feel free to call and chat if you ever need to vent/talk/etc.
Oh Holly Ann-I am glad you have this avenue to vent-everyone needs to be able to do that-so don't apologize!
It is wonderful that God has touched your heart to be so strongly praying for the little one He has created for your family-
Remember God can move mountains (even mountains of paperwork and restrictions!)
Praying for encouragement for you as you complete the paperwork
Julie Lewis
OK I am only a phone call away!! :) I know that feeling all too well, but remember God has a hope and future for you!!!!! He is a faithful God :)
Emily
Thank you for always being so transparent in your posts. It is so good for all of us to be able to share with one another and be an encouragement to one another during difficult moments. Paperwork can be monotonous and the waiting can be so hard - but YES the children are so worth it all!
By the way, you inspired me to do a study on 1 Cor. 11:2-16(with your post from the other day). John MacArthur has a 2 part series on it and I am learning so much and realizing I could always use a pep talk and a kick in caboose on the area of submission. Here are the links to both parts of the series if you are interested:
http://www.gty.org/Resources/transcripts/1844
http://www.gty.org/Resources/transcripts/1845
Thanks again for your transparency.
Aggie
Hang in there! God is going to feel so close during the next few weeks. I know he has a great plan for you and your family. I know he absolutely loves your heart for orphans! He will reveal his plans and if anything stands in the way of his plans he will remove those obstacles. But I know that you know that already.
Big hugs HollyAnn!
I too understand "paper work fatigue" so I know what you are feeling. Having not gone forward with Foster Care at the beginning of our adoption stroy, I don't have all those extra requirements to have in common with you, but OH YAH, the paperwork!! God has put that passion in your heart and HE will take it where He needs to directed, AND JOHN TOO!! Actually the fence is not a bad idea for your current kiddos and life style. ONE pool accident or near accident could be so totally life changing in ways that make a 4 foot fence look like buying a pack of gum! Praying with you for the child of your heart who may very well be due in December, and for the birth mother for whom you carry a prayer burden! God is up to SOMETHING HERE!!!
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