Submission: Part Three

I am really ready to be done with this! But obviously God doesn't think I am ready! I am not doing a structured Bible study right now. So every morning, I read the Proverb for the day and then just pray and try to hear where God wants me to read. Today, I felt it was 1 Corinthians. Some mornings I wonder if I heard right because I really don't get much out of it, but this morning, unfortunatly, I am sure I was right on.

1 Cor 11:3 says, "But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ." Hmmmmm, that isn't really very politically correct, is it? It doesn't say that God or Christ is the head of me, but man....in my case, John! Verse 7 ten says, "But a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man." Ouch! (That is what I wrote in the margin of my Bible too!) I had to reread that! It didn't say I am the glory of God, it says I am the glory of John! It didn't take long thinking on that to know that I sooooooo don't get that! Really, I can't even get my brain around it right now. Yes, that sounds arrogant, yes, it is arrogant! I won't go into detail here of why that is so difficult for me! Lets just say that John and I don't see eye to eye many times in our family, and it is usually over the things I feel God is calling me/us to do! But this scripture leaves no room for compromise! When it comes to my marriage, my home, my life, I am to be the glory of John and John is to be the glory of God. And just in case I didn't get it clear enough and still had some doubts, God says "Read on!".

Verses 8-9: "For man does not originate from woman, but woman from man; for indeed man was not created for the woman's sake, but woman for the man's sake." What?! You are kidding me, right?! I was really created for John?! But what about my whole role in life being to bring glory to God? Well, this says I do that through bringing glory to John! But can't I just skip that part and bring glory to God leaving John to do that same? I don't see where it really leaves much room for that here...and in case I wondered, here is how my conversation with God after this went:
Me: How do I do this? How do I follow you and John? How do I bring glory to him? How do I follow You and John when so many times they seem to contradict? Why do you tell me things that totally contradict what John says?
God: So You can pray! You can prepare the path for John - He is my issue. *Insert HollyAnn's eplanation to blog readers: God had to put that there because I often want to "fix" my husband! I am sure none of you other women struggle with that, but it is a HUGE issue with me....especially when I think he is wrong!:)*
Me: My human brain doesn't comprehend how this works...your ways are higher than mine!
God: Yes it does! You just want control! You don't want to wait...to trust! *OUCH!*
Me: OK - practically speakingwhat does this "the woman is for the glory of man" look like?.....Where can I take the lead and not be overstepping my boundary? What id anything can I expect from John?
God: Right now, nothing - ALL expectations are on Me! Look to Me! (vs. 12 and ALL things originate from God)
Me:Where can I lead?
God: What is truly vital?
Me: children's spiritual growth, money responsibility
God: Are you doing those things either?
Me: no
God: Then why are you judging him? Get the log out of you eye!
Me: How do I do all this? How do I bear all this?
God: In Me! By faith! In the Spirit!
Me: I don't think I can!
God: lies! Since when did you start believing lies of the enemy over Me?
Me: really long argument that is pretty pitiful of why I am believing lies....doesn't really work to argue with the Creator of the Universe...he will let you argue, but I haven't won one yet!

I am guessing there will be a submission: part four.....and probably five, six.....you get the picture! I don't have this one down yet! And John said, "AMEN!" :)