Forget it all....

So what do you do when you just came home from four days away at a conference about the hurting children in the world, the bags need to be unpacked, the house needs to be put back in order after your fabolous in-laws did their best to keep it all in order while they loved your kids....well, you forget it all and have a swim and hot dog party in the backyard! And that is exactly what we did Sunday night and here are the pictures to prove it!

so true!

My Mom sent me this! :)

JUST A MUM?
A woman, renewing her driver's license at the Licence Centre, was asked by the woman recorder to state her occupation. She hesitated, uncertain how to classify herself. 'What I mean is, ' explained the recorder, 'do you have a job or are you just a ...?' 'Of course I have a job,' snapped the woman. 'I'm a Mum.' 'We don't list 'Mum' as an occupation, 'housewife' covers it,' Said the recorder emphatically. I forgot all about her story until one day I found myself in the same situation, this time at our own Licence Centre. The Clerk was obviously a career woman, poised, efficient, and possessed of a high sounding title like, 'Official Interrogator' or 'Town Registrar.' 'What is your occupation?' she probed. What made me say it? I do not know. The words simply popped out. 'I'm a Research Associate in the field of Child Development and Human Relations.' The clerk paused, ball-point pen frozen in m midair and looked up as though she had not heard right. I repeated the title slowly emphasizing the most significant words. Then I stared with wonder as my pronouncement was written, in bold, black ink on the official questionnaire. 'Might I ask,' said the clerk with new interest,'just what you do in your field?' Coolly, without any trace of fluster in my voice, I heard myself reply, 'I have a continuing program of research, (what mother doesn't) In the laboratory and in the field, (normally I would have said indoors and out). I'm working for my Masters, (first the kids and then the whole family) and already have four credits (all daughters). Of course, the job is one of the most demanding in the humanities, (any mother care to disagree?) and I often work 14 hours a day, (24 is more like it). But the job is more challenging than most run-of-the-mill careers and the rewards are more of a satisfaction rather than just money.' There was an increasing note of respect in the clerk's voice as she completed the form, stood up, and personally ushered me to the door. As I drove into our driveway, buoyed up by my glamorous new career, I was greeted by my lab assistants -- ages 13, 7, and 3.In the bedroom I could hear our new experimental model, (a 6 month old baby) in the child development program, testing out a new vocal pattern. I felt I had scored a beat on bureaucracy! And I had gone on the official records as someone more distinguished and indispensable to mankind than 'just another Mum.' Motherhood! What a glorious career! Especially when there's a title on the door. Does this make grandmothers 'Senior Research associates in the field of Child Development and Human Relations' And great grandmothers 'Executive Senior Research Associates?' I think so!!! I also think it makes Aunts Associate Research Assistants.

Facts that should make you sick...then make you act!

Based on data provided by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services submitted as of January 16, 2008, there are more than 500,000 children in the foster care systems throughout the United States.

143 million orphans exist worldwide!

Among the children who are currently placed, there are approximately 20,000 children who will emancipate or age out of the system this year.

Nearly half of foster kids in the U.S. become homeless when they turn 18.

Nationwide, there are more than one hundred thousand of children in the U.S. foster care system waiting for permanent families.

"...for in you the fatherless find compassion." Hosea 14:3

Pics from the Summitt

Still processing it all....will probably still be processing it all for a few weeks/ months to come. I am encouraged beyond anything I have ever experienced before in this orphan care/adoption ministry. However, the thought of returning to the mess had me on my face and in tears when it was all said and done!

One of the amazing things about the Summitt was meeting people I call friend for the first time in flesh and blood! Here is a dear friend who has been a huge encouragement to me....got to see her for the first time in 3-D! :) Me and Jodi!

This is an amazing young man from Liberia! I have one of his quotes in yesterdays blog. We had the priviledge of getting to know Lightning and his parents as well as Bishop Jones (also from Liberia) over the past two days. There was an immediate connection and now it is as if we have known them forever. The best thing Lightning taught me.....how to do Toben's hair like his! I can't wait to experiment! Toben buddy, we are going to have some fun with your hair!

I tell you the world gets smaller by the day! I had met most of the Red Letters Campaign bunch at the Orphan Project fund raising dinner. I got to meet Holly here, and John and Holly reconnected as they grew up in Crane together! Now that is crazy! Two people from Crane ending up at an Orphan Summitt together! What are the odds?!

And this is Callie's heroine! This is Steven Curtis Chapman's oldest daughter, Emily! She is an amazing young woman...as authentic and real as they come! I told her that Callie adores her because she prayed her parents into adoption and Callie is trying to pray her daddy into another baby! Got to have some fun ribbing John with her! She is going to Ireland with her husband for a year to go to Bible College, but when she gets back, we are going to try to get her to come do a fund raiser for us! She said she would love to! Her message is really amazing!

John and I also reconnected with the Scott Hasenbalg, Ex. Director of Shoahannah's Hope.

I am not a freak!

I am not a freak! Well, at least if I am a freak, then I have found hundreds of people like me who are freaks too! :) It was amazing to hear things that I have told people for years coming out of so many people's mouths today! God has really encouraged me today in the work that I do. He has also made amazing contacts that I am still in awe!

Seven years ago when we adopted Noah, I said that the church is the answer to the Orphan crisis and that GOd is stirring His people! Well today, I know that is so true! I was in a room with hundreds of people who say the same thing and are seeking God for what role they have to motivate the Body of Christ to be the answer and answer the cry of the Orphans here in the US and around the world!

I am sure there will be many blog posts to come about these two days, but for right now, here are some quotes from the speakers I heard:

Dennis Rainey

"Proclaim the needs of the orphans"
"Be a person who can see circumetances through the eyes of God & believe for a lot with just a little bit."
Leveredge one another's strengths. It is about all of us working together. Check your egos and your logos at the door! (I LOVE that one!)
"The church is the key!"
"We are never closer to the heart of God than when we care for those who can do nothing for us!"
As you start a church ministry for adoption, expect opposition, petiness, people to be people, BUT expect God to rase up a huge army to fight!

President of Christian Orphan Alliance
"We are cutting against everything the world says is valuable - but it creates an awe and wonder that thew orld will take notice."

Rob - who spent 14 years of his life in a US orphanage before aging out
"He [Jesus] got betrayed by people he should've been able to trust. That one I understand."
Eternal life doesn't matter to some one who doesn't know if they will live to be 21. But the idea of spiritual water that woudl sooth the soul got his attention.

Emily Chapman Richards
"The world woudl be in shock and awe as an undivided church rise to the ocasion."
"It's a priviledge to care for orphans."

Lightning - my newest friend! He is 17 and came home from Liberia 3 years ago...an amazing young man..and he spoke tonight
"Adoption became a word of hope and a prayer of all our hearts."

Dr. Moore
"What is at stake is not simply human life....what is at stake is the gospel of Jesus Christ."
"Joseph of Nazarus adopts a baby and changes the world."
We must communicate that this is not just about building families; it is about standing before the demonic powers asking to sift the children like wheat and say, "I don't think so!"
To develop an adoption culture, you must have people who will seek the wisdom of God to order their lives, have people who will allow God to direct their steps - they have to be wiling to let go of the American dream.
Adoption means adjusting to a new home - such it is always with orphans like us - there is always a part of us wanting to return to the squaller from which we came because it is more comfortable than being in a home with a Father.
"adoption teaches us about spiritual warfare"

sorry for any typos...my eyes are just about crossed, so I am going to be now to try to shut down my brain!

AA Girl Update

The birth mom was going to be presented two families last night, but I don't know if she chose. Agency asked me if I had a letter and photo to send. I said yes, but would have to ask hubby before I sent it.

Do you know how hard it is to be at an Orphan Summit with EVERY talk being about how the church is the answer, and we must step up to the plate knowing God has put adopting another baby on my heart and there is a little girl possibly needing a home?! Sometimes I think God just likes to play cruel jokes, but then I remember that the Word says that God is good all the time! It also says His ways are NOT my ways! AMEN!!

Will find out tomorrow if she picked a family and will know if that door is closed or not. Oh, and the agency doesn't take credit cards...there goes my answer for the money I guess that is good, since we wouldn't have the money to make the payments probably anyway. I wonder if I walk up to the table for Lifesong or Abba Fund, they would just give me the money?! ha! If it is God's plan, He will make it work. So I am trying to cease striving and just know that He is God!

"AA Girl"

"AA Girl" that was the title of an e-mail in my inbox today. I had a similar e-mail the week before Easter. I ended up responding to the previous e-mail with "we can't do that right now." But ever since then, I have been really contemplating all God has been telling me about adopting again. The feeling, the voice, the urgency just gets stronger and stronger. I have walked this road twice before; I know this pattern. But ALL circumstances say this would be the worst time to adopt again...probably why God is saying, NOW, right?!

Well, the e-mail today is for a precious baby girl who is already born...5 days old. The family wants a family that already has AA members somewhere. The fees are reasonably low for domestic...but they might as well be a million $'s! But I am still praying for a miracle. John hasn't said no, and he is graciously praying about her. I thought of her all the way to Dallas (we are in Dallas for the Orphan Summit). I thought of what it would be like to see her for the first time. I wondered what they have named her already. I wondered why they have decided to place her for adoption. I wondered what she looks like....I pictured Callie holding her (Callie has had many dreams about us getting a baby and has asked me repeatedly when we are adopting a baby girl!), I pictured myself getting up to feed her at night...I LOVE night time feedings when it is just me and the baby!

But then I try to shut it all off as I doubt she is mine. She is already born, I have no paper work with me to give to the agency, and I will not be back home until Sunday afternoon. I am sure she will find a home by then, which means she is not meant to be in our family....but I can't dismiss that "What if?!" I wonder sometimes why I have this ache to adopt again when I have four precious children, but I do have this ache...a very specific "ache"! AA baby girl! I know boys are not mine, I know cauc situations are not mine, but an AA baby girl comes up and my heart leaps. John swears I am trying to fill some unknown void, but I can honestly say that I would be perfectly content...and was with my four until God stirred my heart with the need to pray for our next child's mother and then again in my kitchen shortly after when I heard "Letting Go" by Barlow Girl. This has gone on for right at a year now. When it first started, I kind of felt the same way John did...why Lord? We have plenty! :) But now, I desire the baby! Its not just an act of obedience, it would be fulfilling the desire of my heart!

So for now I guess I will go to sleep and dream about my little girl...then I will wake up in the morning ready to go hear about how other people are workingt to care for the world's orphans and get motivated to keep up the work we are doing in Liberia and our efforts to expand!

My Song

So this is my song right now:

Building 429 - Alway
I was standing in the pouring rain one dark November night
Fighting off the bitter cold when she caught my eye
Her face was taught and her eyes were filled, and to my surprise
She pulled out a photograph and my heart just stopped inside
She said, "He would've been three today
I miss his smile, I miss his face"
What was I supposed to say, but

CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always

He was living in a broken world, dreaming of a home
His heart was barely keeping pace when I found him all alone
Remembering the way he felt when his daddy said goodbye
Fighting just to keep the tears and the anger locked inside
He's barely holding onto faith
But deliverance is on its way, cause

CHORUS
I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails
Even when all hope is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
He will be with you always

Friend, I don't know where you are and I don't know where you've been
Maybe you're fighting for your life or just about to throw the towel in
But if you're crying out for mercy, if there's no hope left at all
If you've given everything you've got and you're still about to fall
Well hold on, hold on, hold on, cause I believe always, always
Our savior never fails
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
Always, always,
He will be with you always

Then I would have to add a verse:

They send me notes and call my phone
Parents weary of the news and feeling all alone
Their hearts are broken and they just want their children home
But all I have to offer is my feeble attempt to explain that

I believe always, always
Our Savior never fails.
Even when all faith is gone
God knows our pain and his promise remains
Always, always
He will be with you always.

Wow!

Just like God to kick me in the tail right after I post a piti-party post like my last one. Received this in my e-mail today....don't know who the original author is, but it leaves no room for excuses!

Our family experienced a year of extreme trauma and loss in 2008. In the midst of it all we stood firm on the promise that God would never leave us or forsake us. We praised Him in the midst of sorrow. We praised Him in the midst of confusion. We praised Him no matter what was going on because for years we had declared that our God was a good God. When the hard times come you have opportunity to take your experience with the Lord to a higher level of trust. He is not only good when we understand it all....He is good when we don't understand any of it. Loving God with everything you have is more than theory or philosophy...it is a way of living. I have learned so much more of God's love and provision through difficulty than I would have ever learned otherwise. It is easy to give the enemy place and justify our sin. Bitterness, anger, and other destructive behavior can enter in and take us down quickly. I thank God for His faithfulness and the presence of the Holy Spirit on my life.

blahhhh

Just a blah day. Don't want to do anything. Want to pretend Liberia doesn't exist. Want all the problems associated with adoption and Liberia to go away. Just want to go to a deserted island with my children and live out our days there playing in the sun and collecting shells.

Siiiiiiiigh......

More puke! Now John has it! I am sick of stomach viruses! Go away!

Let me just say that I know how selfish this sounds/is, but I say this is a transparent look at my life...so you get the good, the bad and the very ugly! I am so bummed that he is sick tonight! See I got an e-mail in my inbox today. Ever since I started pricing fences to get the pool fence, I have stopped looking at domestic situations and concentrated on the foster care issue.

Well, the e-mail I got was for an African American baby girl due in July here in Texas. It is a little higher than what I had wanted to do even in a domestic adoption, but I just keep thinking that no matter the cost, a child is worth it! I don't hesitate to pay that much for a car that will run out and eventually break down. The car will be ashes when the fire hits it, but the life of this child will be eternal! Read post below for simple explanation of that analogy!

John hates these e-mails! It really stretches him to think about having another child. There are days it does me too, but I love babies and children! John doesn't have that burning desire like me, so I appreciate that he is willing to pray and consider that perhaps God is calling us to this even thought he, John, would not choose this for us. However, talking about it is hard. For one thing, finding time when we can both sit down and talk with out interruption when we still have brain cells left (which we usually neither one do by bed time!) is so difficult. Well, tonight, the big kids are with John's parents. The little ones go to bed at 8, so we were planning to sit and talk about it tonight to see if we feel called in anyway to pursue this situation.

There is one part about this situation that keeps going through my mind....the mother went to abort her, but she was too far along! Ouch! I hear my government teacher from high school saying, "These pro-life people better be ready to put their money where their mouth is and raise these babies that aren't aborted." I'm ready! I will put my money where my mouth is! Bring her to me! I would take in an unlimited number of children to save them from being murdered before they are born! But that doesn't mean this baby is mine, either.

So I sit...wondering....dreaming...trying not to think of the possibilities....trying not to fall in love with her already....trying to be truly open to God's will...and at the same time wondering where in the world we would get that kind of money to pursue the adoption! But then I know story after story of how God provided, so I would pursue her in a heart beat in faith that God will take care of the rest...I just have to know this is His will! I want it to be His will so badly that I don't know that I can be fully objective....that is why I really do rely on John to say yes or no! I just need him to not be puking so we can talk about it!

What a quote!

I have been looking for blogs on foster care, so I checked out my friend Amy's from an adoptive mom yahoo group I belong to. They have just been through a trying foster ordeal! But since John and I are praying about it, I wanted to read more about it. I process things so differently than John, and it makes times like this very stressful at our house!

When Amy's blog came up, I looked at her title bar and saw this quote. It has haunted me ever since:

"Sometimes I'd like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine, and injustice in the world when He could do something about it...but I'm afraid God might ask me the same question." -Anonymous

wow! That says it all!

Go check out Building the Blocks, you will be blessed!

my new obsession..

I have always loved material....but stink at sewing! I have made one outfit for Callie, and John forbid me from ever sewing clothes again! So I moved to scrap booking because now they have amazing paper! I love all the colors, designs, etc. But now they have ribbon that is gorgeous! Hobby Lobby just came out with a line that is the same as scrapbook paper! So I am back to making bows for Ava to match her outfits and having a blast! I didn't dress her all up with matching stuff when she was a baby like I did Callie. It was during that time that I had my worst bouts with depression and barely had enough umph in me to get her dressed, much less all dolled up!

Then we went to a craft show and saw these flip-flops...so I have started making them! It lets me do something with all the fun ribbon! I made Callie and I some too, but I didn't take a picture of them. I have missed crafting! But I am still struggling from the lack of sleep as I had to stay up until 1 am to have time to do these!

Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month

April 2009 is Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month

State Of TexasOffice of the Governor
Children are the embodiment of innocence and hope for the future, and every child deserves to grow up in a nurturing environment, free from harm and fear. Sadly, however, child abuse is a reality, a problem we must relentlessly combat through awareness and action.
Every responsible person will agree that even one abused child is too many. Yet our state's child protection caseloads are evidence of the shameful fact that child abuse is a widespread issue in Texas. All responsible Texans must do what they can to resolve this pervasive issue.
There are ways we can make a difference. Children's advocacy groups and social workers across the state work to create safe, happy and healthy environments for Texas' children, and, through education and awareness, to discourage child abuse. When abuse or neglect does occur, individual citizens have a duty to report it to the appropriate authorities.
Once again, the month of April has been designated for an educational campaign. At this time, I encourage all Texans to join me in renewing our commitment to preventing child abuse and learning what we each can do to promote the safety and well-being of children. Their success is Texas' success.
Therefore, I, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas, do hereby proclaim April 2009,
Child Abuse Prevention and Awareness Month
in Texas, and urge the appropriate recognition whereof.
In official recognition whereof, I hereby affix my signature this the 18"' day of February, 2009


That's great, Mr. Perry! Now can we change some laws to keep kids in the system from being abused in their foster homes?? Or make a system where this is less likely to occur than if we leave them in their abusive home?

The Pictures of Aba and Toben

Several of you have asked....so here ya go! The pictures in this post of Toben and Ava were taken at our local Sears. I learned a long time ago to take my own props...sometimes I have to help pose them, but this photographer was pretty good with that part. I love their coupons, and I can get them less expensive than if I printed them off at Wal-Mart...and I usually buy enough that I can get the disk fairly reasonable so then everyone can have what ever pictures they want!

My goal over Easter weekend is to get all the children in their white shirts and shorts over to a park that has amazing trees and take pictures...I have none of all four except Easter pitures last year! I am so behind!

Officially registered!

And here is what I will get to attend:
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Practical Ideas for Church Adoption/Foster Care Ministries (Michael & Amy Monroe, Irving Bible Church) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Starting In the Right Direction: Helping Pre-Adoptive Couples Make Sound Decisions (Joe Gerber, Loving Shepherd Ministries) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Chapman Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Getting in the Way of Trouble: What Every Church Should Know When Intervening in the lives of Foster Children & Families (Chris Padbury, Project 1:27) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - NEW: Christian Adoption Agencies' Rights of Conscience in Placement Decisions (Brian Raum, Alliance Defense Fund Legal Counselor & Kelly Rosati, Sr. Director, Sanctity of Human Life, Focus on the Family) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - The Challenges and Changing Landscape of International Adoption (Brian Luwis, America World Adoption & Bill Blacquiere, Bethany Christian Services) -

And what I am sending John to:
Breakout Session 1: 4/30/2009 11AM - 12PM - Unleashing the Home: God’s Answer for Vulnerable Children (Dave Anderson, Safe Families) -
Breakout Session 2: 4/30/2009 2PM - 3PM - Accountability, ECFA and Christian Alliance for Orphans (Dan Busby, ECFA) -
Breakout Session 3: 4/30/2009 3:15PM - 4:15PM - Loving the Orphan – A Journey of Hope and Faith (Emily Richards, Shaohannah's Hope) -
Breakout Session 4: 5/1/2009 10:45AM - 11:45AM - Mobilizing the Local Church to Serve Children in Foster Care (Tom Lukasik, 4KIDS of South FL) -
Breakout Session 5: 5/1/2009 1:45PM - 2:45PM - The Financial Challenge of Adoption & How the Church Can Respond (Wendy Cosby, Shaohannah’s Hope; Jason Kovacs, ABBA Fund; Andy Lehman, Lifesong) -
Breakout Session 6: 5/1/2009 3PM - 4PM - Effective Strategies for Partnering with the Local Church (Jeff Walshauser, Christ Chapel Bible Church) -

5/2/2009 - Visit old friends in the Dallas area and process all we have just learned before returning home to chaos once again! :)

5/3/2009 - Return home to implement all we learned and impact the orphan crisis with the Kingdom of God!

Don't want to...

I so need to be lysoling my whole house, but I so don't want to! I am so tired of sickness! That is really the only thing I can say I do not like about having a larger (ok, kind of large for those of you with truly large families)...when the stomach bug hits, it takes about two weeks to go through everyone...ok that and all the laundry on a regular basis! That means two weeks of puke and other bodily fluids! Ugh! Two more people to go, however, I am claiming this round over in Jesus Name! No more puke!!!!

Hope you were not eating lunch when you read this....sorry, should have had a warning with that post, huh?!

drum roll please......

I am going to the Orphan Summit at Irving Bible Church! I am so stoked! Nothing could have made my day more! I thought I had already missed it, but my friend Jody set me straight! I have tried all day to register but between calls from the Ambassador and getting ready for my meeting with my Congressman tomorrow, I haven't had a chance. So right now, at 11:30 pm, when I should be in bed, I am going to pick my break out sessions! John is going with me. We need a weekend away... and I need him to go to the sessions I can't attend!

There are TONS of sessions on forming an adoption/foster ministry at your church. This is something that we were not allowed to do at our old church, but leadership of our new church seems to be open to...if you are reading this..Hint..Hint! :)

Seriously, though, I know this will be much needed encouragement and contacts to keep trekking on this journey that literally wears me out on a daily basis! Meeting with other Christians who have a passion for hurting children...here and over seas...will be a dream come true!

Off to register so that maybe I can get some sleep tonight! :)

I wonder if any reps from Save the Children will be there....hmmmmmmm........

I love my new church!

I cannot say enough good about my new church, Mid-Cities. It is not perfect - it is made up of people just like me. At some point, I will be offended or hurt while being there. It is a family, don't we always get hurt or offended by family? But when that happens, I will pray through it, and do as God directs! We work it out!

What do I love about it? Well, they love people! That is my heart, and I believe that is the heart of God! People! They are constantly seeking ways to take the the people in this family from where they are to the next step in their faith journey. Isn't that what it is all about? Aren't we all supposed to be growing from glory to glory? But the cool thing about Mid-Cities is that they don't just talk about it, they do it! Wow! What a concept! They don't have it all figured out. They don't have the road map or the 10 year plan...well, not as far as I know anyway. They just ask what the people need then try to get the tools in their hands as quickly as possible. We just joined a few weeks ago. Do you know one of the questions that was on the member information sheet? What is your dream for the Kingdom of God? Really???? They want to know what my dream is? They want to know what God is calling me to?? I went from a place that specifically told me, "We will walk with you as a person, but we will not walk with your ministry." That would be great if I knew how to separate the two, but as far as I know, I am one in the same. And now I have found a place that cares about what God is doing in the lives of the believers that He sends to them! Wow! What a marvelous concept.

Funny thing is, we visited Mid-Cities when we first moved to this area almost 5 years ago. I couldn't hack it. It was too much for me! I just wasn't ready spiritually. I still had God in a box! My box wasn't big enough for the God this church serves. That is a post for another time.

The leadership and the people of Mid-Cities believe in the power of God! I LOVE THAT! They pray expecting things to happen. They encourage us to pray expecting things to happen. They believe the sky is the limit as long as God is at the wheel. Praise God!

Daniel, our senior pastor, is younger than me. I love that too! But there are seasoned saints on staff as well. There is a balance! We need the ones who have been there and done that! Daniel is a wonderful teacher. If you want to hear some really practical sermons for walking with God, check out the website: www.midcities.org.

God has a way...

...of keeping things in the forefront of our minds! I have posted several times about my desire for a baby. It comes and goes from time to time. Well, lately it has come and stayed! Nothing about life says now would be a good time...John says nothing about life says EVER would be a good time! :) He was done at one! But I have really had foster care on my mind! As I was looking at all these adoption situations that I wanted to be presented to, I looked at the price tags, and this little voice said, "Now what was it that stopped you from fostering? Wasn't it like $2,000 to put up that four foot fence and you stopped. Yet, you are still looking at adoptions that will cost you well over $20K?" He had me! I couldn't rationalize my way out of that one!

So I started really praying! I even made some inquiries on-line about pool fences..you know nothing personal, just filling in some forms so there is no commitment. Well, out of the blue one day at the office, one of the companies called with their Texas installer! So there it was again....the idea of fosterting. He quoted me a price that would be about $3,000. Out of the question! John will never go for that! He doesn't even want a fence around the pool anyway. I didn't either because we had a lab that already didn't have enough room, and that would have blocked her running space for sure. Well, three weeks ago, we sent her to a new home with a ton of space! So one more dilema solved.

I have become a new fan of Karen Kingsbury. My friend Anita introduced me to her books, and I am hooked! I only had 5 minutes at the library the other day before I had to pick up the kids, so I just grabbed two and ran. When I started reading one of them, When Joy Comes to Stay, guess what it is about? You guessed it...foster care! A mom who gave up a baby and is now fostering, and the baby she gave up that is now 8 and gets nearly beat to death by her foster mom! I am not finished with the book, but have just cried through most of it! Once again, fostering jumps out of nowhere!

CPS is not the way I would go. There will be a much greater risk of heartbreak (like adoption doesn't have enough in and of itself!)as odds are we will lose a few before we get to keep our child. We will have to take children who have been abused...love children who have not been loved. That can be very difficult. But if we don't, who will? That is what God keeps asking me. I look on the TARE websight almost daily. Did you know that in 2006 in Texas along, 1,700 children aged out?! That means 1,700 children left the foster system with no where to return to on Christmas or no home to go to if they fall on hard times. No where but the street or jail where over 75% of foster children end up! Body of Christ, what are we thining?! Who will be Jesus' hands and feet to these "Least of these" if we will not?

I don't know that in the end we will be able to foster to adopt. I don't know yet what John will hear from the Lord. But I know that even if we don't foster to adopt, God has this in the forefront of my mind for some reason! If it is not for us, then I will have to keep praying because it is just not acceptable to know that many children are hurting...right here in good 'ol America!

Calling all prayer warriors!

We need all of you prayer warriors to hit your knees for the people of Liberia! The battle is fierce! I have never experienced anything like this in my life to even compare it to except through my work in Liberia. In my time with God this morning, He impressed on me the dire need for prayer in order to defeat the powers of darkness that are seeking to keep these people captive....not just captive here in this world, but more importantly, captive for eternity! I know it is hard to imagine in this day and age that there are people who have never heard the gospel, but I have learned of a county in Liberia where that is so! God has sent two men our direction who are working there, diving connections that only God could bring about. I pray we have the opportunity to work there.

This is what God gave me this morning that I would ask that you pray with me for the people of Liberia!

"How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the Lord his God, who made heaven and earth, the sea and all that is in them; who keeps faith forever; who executes justice for the oppressed; who gives food to the hungry. The Lord sets the prisoners free. The Lord opens the eyes of the blind...He supports the fatherless and the widow, but He thwarts the way of the wicked," Psalm 146 (emphasis mine)

Praise God! I have to say that after a couple of weeks of trying to pretend like I never heard of a little country called Liberia because I am just so weary of the battles, my spirit is soaring this morning! I am ready for the battle! But I need an army! I need prayer warriors! If you would pray for Addy's Hope, Kami and Jeremy who are there now on the front lines fighting the battle to get the new home and school up, Amos who is our country director and has to fight this battle every day on the front lines: a battle that really we can't even comprehend here in America, if you would pray for us, would you leave me a comment?...just so I can know in the bad times that there are people praying.

Headed to battle!

Save the Children...they need to change their name!

Read this!

SAVE THE CHILDREN FEDERATION, INC.
CODE OF ETHICS AND BUSINESS CONDUCT
Save the Children is committed to preserving a working environment that promotes integrity in its business practices. All representatives of Save the Children – employees, volunteers, interns, consultants, Board members and others – must conduct the Agency’s activities honestly, with integrity and good judgment, and in the best interest of the Agency and the children, families and communities we serve. Save the Children representatives must demonstrate conduct that upholds the Agency’s reputation, is respectful of the rights of others, and complies with all applicable laws, regulations and standards.
The following are specific requirements for Save the Children representatives in conformity with these precepts. The list is not exhaustive.
Compliance with Law, Regulations and Standards
Save the Children representatives must act in conformity with the laws and regulations of the United States and the countries in which the Agency works. They must abide by Save the Children’s own policies and procedures and act in conformity with professional standards common to representatives of other charitable organizations, non-profit corporations and non-governmental organization.

Save the Children's website has a link to their code of ethics and business conduct. I thought I would glance at it in light of some news I just received from Liberia. I couldn't make it past the first two headings of the 4 page document before the knot in my stomach just about made me puke! I can't speak for the organization anywhere but in Liberia. But what I see in Liberia meets NONE of these ethics or conduct!

My first encounter with Save the Children was in January when we went to get Toben and had four other families traveling with us. This is when a representative from UNICEF, Dr. Emmanuel Dolo, saw us eating out at a restaurant with our children and by the time we got to the Ministry of Health that morning, all the children's visas (well not technically all since in the professionalism that they always have, they had only gotten 4 of the 9 children's names correct!) had been put on hold illegally. When we FINALLY had clearance to leave after proving the adoptions had occurred legally and ALL papers were in order, we went t meet our plane. When we got home, we discovered that a newspaper article had been written which stated that representatives for Save the Children were headed to the airport to stop the "illegal" removal of these children! Really?! With as much attention as had already been drawn to our children, there is NO way that we would have gotten out of the airport with out having every "i" dotted and every "t" crossed! Did Save the Children look at any of our paperwork? NO!!!!! Did Save the Children call and talk to me, the Executive Director of both a non-profit here in the US and an NGO in Liberia? NO!

Read that first part again: they must work in the best interest of the children, communities and families they serve???? Who were they serving then? It sure wasn't the nine children about to board a plane to loving homes with plenty of food, clothing, love and the promise of a future and opportunities NEVER afforded to them in Liberia. It sure wasn't the families who had danced out the doors when they relinquished the children because they knew the children would never g hungry again and they could be free from worry about where they would get the next meal for their child! You see, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare has NO MEANS TO PROVIDE FOR THESE FAMILIES!!! I know of two babies less than two months old that have been turned away from Deputy Minister Geebro's office without food! This is the Deputy Minister in charge of the welfare of the people of Liberia! Now I am not rocket scientist, but I would think that providing food is just the minimum required to protect the welfare of Liberia...especially to the most helpless...the children! But Save the Children would rather support the ILLEGAL work of this man than the humanitarian work of many NGO's in Liberia! Why, you ask? I don't know! You would have to ask them! In fact, feel free to do so! We tried, and never got a response! Here is the e-mail contact on their website:twebster@savechildren.org.

Please pray for these children. They did this at another orphanage before the first of the year. I don't know for sure how many they took, but 13 of the ones they took ended up in the hospital and one DIED! Tell me how that was protecting that child? MoH ended up returning the children to the home because they could not take care of them! Are you kidding me? IF conditions were so bad they had to be removed, why would they return them?

One of the Liberian legislatures that we have spoken with many times says that Save the Children and UNICEF are so against the work we do because with out the orphans, they don't have a pay check! If people like us work ourselves out of job, they are out of a job also....so they work to stop us. I hated to think there was truth in that, but the more I work in Liberia, the more it looks like he is right!

Pray for these children! Pray God protects them from these groups and the Liberian government! Pray that God's wrath and justice for His children reigns down on Liberia! People are suffering! People are dying! People are in need!

Keep praying!

The container is still in port! The whole team will be there as of tonight and two will leave on Wednesday. Some have been there for more than a week who hoped to see the outside of the building up and all they have seen accomplished is the fence going up. I know these were 'man's' plans, but it is often frustrating and discouraging when we step out in faith to do something for God and don't get to see it accomplished as we thought. Pray for these people. Pray that they don't question all of this to the point that it is a hinderance for their walk! We are so thankful for their sacrifice and encourgement to us at Addy's Hope!

Pray that the container gets out today! It will cost close to $7,000 thanks to Mr. Geebro. But that is money he is robbing from God and His orphans, not us, so God will deal swiftly with him according to Proverbs 23: 10-11. God had already blessed the project with an unexpected gift right before the first people on the team left. We, the people, thought it was for a wonderful kitchen and bathroom. But God knew that we would face this challenge! So now I believe He was providing for our needs before we knew we had them. We will still have a kitchen and bathrooms, they just won't be as "souped up"! But they will still be as good if not better than where they are now. God is so faithful! I know He has to get tired of me not seeing it!

So please continue to pray! Pray that the team does not get discouraged. The roller coaster of working with a government that tries to block aid to its most needy citizens is something that can't be discribed...only experienced. But it makes you weary quickly!

The Lord, He is God!

"The Lord, He is God!" This is what the people cried after Elijah prayed for and God provided fire to fall down on the alter that was drenched and surrounded by water! That is what the people of Liberia will pray when they hear of what God has done through the faithful servants working with our ministry!

We have a team of 11 people in country right now...$25,000 in plane tickets (that doesn't include shots, visas, etc for all 11 people). Most of the team are just faithful servants of God on mission to make His glory known. They are not adopting...they have no agenda other than to server the "least of these" in Liberia.

But once again, the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare, Deputy Minister Joseph Geebro to be exact, is putting a stop to it. We need a letter from the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare to write a letter of clearance for our container to leave port. Without the letter, we will have to pay $5800 in duties. $5800 that could serve the people of Liberia, but instead will go to duties that will probably pad some officials pocket instead of educating these faces!

The injustice is too much to just sit on! The intent of the Ministry of Health and Social Welfare must be known! Elijah took on 450 prophets of Baal because he knew his God is Lord! I know that too! I never make a move with out thoroughly praying through it, and that includes posts to my blog...for all those naysayers who think I should be silent about these injustices! It is because too many people have been too silent for too long that these injustices are allowed to continue!

We now have the Liberian government, Senators, Dr. McClain (Chief of Staff/Minister of State) standing by while humanitarian aid to the Liberian people is blocked! Yet, we, US tax payers, are going to allow our government to send millions on top of the billion already sent to this government? For real?????

Please pray for our team over there! They are great! They are keeping their eyes on God...there are moments when they think they are going to sink, but then they refocus, and they are doing an amazing job at seeking God at each wall they hit and seeking the direction He woudl have them go! As I type they are trying to figure out how to pay that $5800 and still make the home and school all that God called them to. We know God can do it! He reminded me this morning that paying the $5800 now doesn't mean He will not provide for all that is needed later! Pray that encouragement for the team also! Pray for our poor country director and Pastor who have to deal with this daily! I don't know how they do it! Pray for the people of Margibi county who are already using ou water well because theirs is broken, and now know that their own government is stopping a container of necessities that would benefit them!

Pray for me...I hate to sound selfish, but all this wears me out! I am geared up and in the Spirit right now, but it will take all of 10 minutes after the kids wake up for me to lose focus and get in the flesh! Then the depression and despair hit and I want to quit it all. But that is not what God is telling me...but sometimes it just seems easier to walk away than to walk with God...I know that is a lie from the pit of hell, but so easy to believe in my weak times!

I promised transparent steps as I walk this journey! So there ya go! :)

Oh, did I mention that by 7 am this morning I had already drank a whole pot of coffee...somethins I don't usually do all day?!

Trust & Obedience

Trust & Obedience: two words that seem to be coming up consistently in my life. Two words that I am not necessarily fond of, two words I know are for my own good, two words that mean I am being stretched beyond where I have been stretched before even though I thought I would break that time.

On my face tonight. Begging God to show Himself to me, and once again two words....the widow says (could be HollyAnn says these days) in 1 Kings 17:12 "As the Lord your God lives, I have no bread, only a handful of flour in the bowl and a little oil in the jar; and behold, I am gathering a few sticks that I may go in and prepare for me and my son, that we may eat it and die." Obviously she has not heard the scripture about taking thoughts captive...oh yeah, that is in the New Testament...hadn't been written yet! So I guess she is off the hook, I however, am not! Drats!

So here is Elijah's response: "Do not fear, go, do as you have said, but make me a little bread cake from it FIRST and bring it out to me, and AFTERWARD you may make one for yourself and for you son." (emphasis mine). So I had to write in my margin: "trust & obedience first" There's those two words again.......

Our kids

Check out our kids! John put together this video in order for us to raise funds to cover expenses over the next few months while adoptions are on hold! If God stirs your heart as you look into the faces of the chidlren in our care (59 total...33 have families committed, the rest are being cared for totally on donations by people God has stirred to help), you can e-mail me for donation information. Thanks for looking at our kids! I think they are the cutest in the world! But I might be just a tad prejudice! :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jCuHOUqCPfk

I am sure there is a way to post this directly to my blog, but you know me...technology is not my thing!

My Dark Brown Boy

I was looking through my pictures of all my Liberia trips. It was a good journey for the most part. I was getting pictures for a slide show that John is using to make a video to help us raise funds since we haven't paid salaries or rent this month in Liberia and the food money I left when I was there will run out at the end of this week. I would be fibbing if I said that I hadn't had a few sleepless nights over this, but in four years of being responsible for funding care for children in Liberia, God has ALWAYS provided! So I am trusting Him to once again work a miracle that will bring funds or multiply food, or however He sees fit to meet the needs of the kids and staff He has entrusted to our care.

As I looked through the pictures, I was overcome with so many feelings. Joy as I saw faces that were once there, but are now here! Sadness over faces that have been there through many of my trips and are still waiting to come home. Frustration that there are faces still needing families, but I can't ask anyone to commit to a child in the current situation. Humility as I see the conditions that our children used to live in. Joy as I see the conditions they now live in. Hope as I think of all the families waiting for some of these faces to come home, but at the same time almost despair as I think of these same families and the whole that I know is in their heart that hurts beyond belief when they look at these faces that they wait to kiss and love!

And then I think of my dark brown boy asleep in his bed just a few feet from me. I think of where he has come from. I got to see the hut he slept in. I got to see children that he would have been had for whatever reason God chose to pluck him from those circumstances and place him right here in my home.

We have had a series the past few weeks at church on parenting and marriage, basically, family topics. Today, our pastor was talking about our children and how for whatever reason, God has placed our children in our home at just this time because He needs them to be trained by us however we do it for whatever He has in store for them in His kingdom. I know Daniel probably has no idea just how powerful that is to hear as an adoptive parent, but man, it immediately made me think of my little Toben! I have struggled since seeing his village with why - I hate that I do that! But I have wondered, why Toben? Why me? Why is Toben not still stuck over there like some of the other children who have been waiting to come to home? Why did Toben get to enter the adoption program while so many others still live in the village where he did...with out a water well, without clothes, without food except what they can collect right around their home?

Tonight, Toben went to bed with a full stomach after a day of eating plenty to not just fill him, but nourish him as well. Children in his village went to be tonight with bloated stomachs...not because they were full, but because there was not enough to eat, not enough protein. Children in his village could very well wake up with a water born illness that will take their life as Cholera did Addy's because there is no safe water for them to drink. Toben can at any time walk to the refrigerator and fill his glass with safe, cold water!

I don't often think of where my kids came from...Toben or Noah. They are here now, and it is my job to train them as men of God. But every once in a while, my mind does the "what if?" game. It did that today as I looked at the pictures. What if he wasn't here? What if he was still with his birth mom? I really can't go there. My heart would break!

Why did God choose him? Why did God choose me? I don't know! All I know is I am so thankful He did!


God, help me be the mommy this dark brown boy needs! Forgive me for the times I fall short, and make up for my short falls. Help me to train Toben to be all he needs to be in order to serve You in Your kingdom in whatever capacity You have ordained. Most of all, God, thank you! Thank you for my little dark brown boy that looks at a picture of two women, one white and one dark brown, and when asked if that is your momma (meaning the dark brown one) replies, "No silly! That's my momma!" and points to me! Thank you for a woman who broke her heart by giving up a son in order that he could be mine.

Re-Entry

Re-Entry - that is the term I use for coming home. When you travel to a third world country, there is a re-entry phase you have to go through when you come back into our society of plenty! The first time I was in Africa and then returned home, I had to leave Wal-Mart the first time I was in there because I was just angry at the injustice of it all. Here we are with all we need and most of what we want while half way around the world there are people starving and dying.

I always thought that re-entry would get easier the more trips I took. But I am finding the exact opposite to be true. It seems that each return from Liberia makes it harder and harder to reconcile the two worlds. This time has been really difficult.

Partly because of the battle I am fighting and the waiting for people in a country with starving children to move so I can help their children. That is frustrating! But God reminds me daily that He is still on the throne, and in HIS timing all will be in place for me to do what He is calling me to. I am just not very good at waiting....and I know the financial demands of running a children's home with 59 children and 14 staff...and I know our bank account balance! That brings a little fear to me...but God reminds me to trust Him, so I have to turn that over to him pretty much on an hourly basis right now!

But I digress! I have really struggled this time. I think in part because I saw more devastation this time. I went to places that are more remote. And then a big part of God's movement on this trip was meeting a man who works in a county (Liberia's word for "state") that is a two day drive from Monrovia. He showed me pictures of the village he has been working in. No one wears clothes! It is that remote and poverty stricken. They don't walk around unclothed because they don't know any better, they walk around unclothed because they don't have the resources to clothe themselves! There is more to this story, and I will be sharing it with all of you later. But for now, this is the part that has me stricken.

In my quiet time today, God took me to James. I only got through the first chapter. It was a great reminder about why God doesn't work on our time table. The first few verses are the wonderful words, "consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." Endurance...not something that is really a product of our society! You want something to eat, go to a fast food place or pop something in the microwave. If it takes more than an hour to prepare and cook, I usually skip it! Having trouble in your marriage, get a divorce. Don't like how your boss is treating you, quit and get a new job. And in the adoption world, I see more and more, the child doesn't "fit" your family, disrupt! We are a society of quick fixes and escape routes.

So this concept of endurance is foreign! I struggle with it on a daily basis. I know God is working in Liberia...and of course in my heart! But I want the tangible solutions NOW! Actually, I want them yesterday! I want adoptions moving so families can be united, finances are not a struggle, the work that God has called us to in Liberia outside adoptions can continue, etc, etc. But God is saying, wait and trust! I don't understand it! It makes no sense to me that God wouldn't allow us the resources to do the things He has called us to. It makes no sense to me that we have 33 children in an orphanage with parents, families, waiting to love them and hold them. But that is why God is God and not me! He sees the whole picture, and I just see one piece. So I must wait.

So there is the endurance part of it. But I have come to learn that waiting in the Christian walk is not a passive word, it is an active word. The wait is when God transforms me, then the outcome is just that much sweeter because I see His glory revealed.

As I continued to read James 1, the last verse pierced my heart. It is probably the most commonly quoted scripture in adoption circles: "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress." But there is more to that verse! As I read it, God pierced my heart. The last part is, "and to keep oneself unstained by the world." Wow! The word in the Greek for unstained means "spotless, without". I am to be without the world! The world is not to have its mark on me! Oh how I miss that mark!

I am learning something about myself....I am an all or nothing kind of gall. That might sound like a good trait, but it makes my life really difficult. It makes finding balance all but impossible! It means I have a hard time going to work when the family needs me, and it means having a hard time shutting work off when I come home. Especially the work I do since it is a ministry that involves people's children, hearts and even souls. I know any of you in ministry can relate!

This all or nothing trait really complicates re-entry! When I am in Liberia, I am looking at all the needs. I see so many that $50 will give them tuition for this year to graduate high school. Just $50, that is just a portion of my clothes budget for my family that already has full closets! But these people don't even have money to eat, much less $50 for school. That is just one example of a multitude! So when I am there, I am going through our budget in my mind...cutting back in all areas so that we can give more to people who really are in need. I am motivated. I am in that world, all in!

BUT....then I return home! I am overwhelmed by the needs I left behind. I start hearing the little voice in my head that says, "The needs are too many. You will never make a dent in them." Then I turn to my world, all in! My conviction to send our clothes budget to people needing tuition melts away when I see the perfect Easter dress for Ava even though she already has a pretty dress that would work just fine.

I am supposed to be unstained by this world. I know there are many ways that we can be "stained" by the world, but finances are a tough one for me and John! We buy into the world's lies that we have to have it all, and as Americans, we feel we deserve it all.

I am not saying we should sell all our possessions and live as paupers. God placed us here, in America, in this society, and it is ok to live here. But there is balance! While I believe God is ok with us having a nice home, cars that run, nice clothes to so we look presentable, I believe He is saddened by our excess. I believe He wishes we would look to others more.

This morning, He was convicting me. Don't put your American head in the sand and pretend like you didn't see what you saw! Do the work. It will be hard, but look at your budget. Examine your heart. See where you can sacrifice the desires to give someone a need! I am a long way from having this part of my life under God's authority! But this morning, He reminded me again that while He wants me to care for orphans and widows, He is just as concerned that I remain unstained by this world....and that includes in the game of keeping up with the Jones!

My son's home

Today was an exhausting day! I rode the four hour one way trip to Nimba with roads that are far less then pefect! Pot holes everywhere! But it was so worth it!

I made a promise to the parents who came with Toben's biological parents that I would some day go to Nimba to see where they lived. Today I made good on that promise. Nimba is in the interior. It is away from Monrovia, so the poverty increases. This is where a lot of the kids that we have brought home came from.

The first stop was the home of 7 of the children. Grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, cousins and friends all came out to see the pictures. When I showed them to an older lady, she didn't hardly see them before she started dancing and praising the Lord! It was amazing! She was so excited to see her grandchildren and how they were doing! She started saying, "I sell my children? I will never see them again? Look here!" She had been chastised for placing her children for adoption. As the common mindset here in Liberia is that 'adoption' means the children will be sold in slavery or taken for their organs or sent to Iraq for war. A big part of what God has allowed me to do this trip is to use the media to educate people on what adoption is! She was so excited to have proof to her naysayers that her grandchildren were happy and alive, and thriving!

We went to a couple of other homes. One of the mother's had cooked lunch for us. So I ate field rice with meat & cabbage stew. I really ate the stew! However, it was so hot that I had to eat mainly rice with a little stew! I'm not fully Liberian yet, evidently!

Next we went to Toben's village. It was off the road just a litte, surrounded by greenery. And in this little expanse in the greenery is a grass hut kitchen and eight to ten mud huts with grass roofs. There is no water well, no bathroom, no shower, no school, no access to medical care. But there are children everywhere, most only with shirts on as pants are a luxury here. The girls nursing babies look to be not much more than 13 or 14. Each one had a baby on her hip or at her breast. I just sat in the "kitchen" watching it all as they went to get Toben's birth mom from the farm where she was working. I was trying to take it all in, but the more I looked around, the harder it was. It was as if I had no where to file in my American brain what I was looking at! Eventhough this is my fifth trip to Liberia, the poverty and way of life of so many Liberians just doesn't compute. I can't imagine that a place like this really exists in 2009! But it does!

I hear Toben's mom saying, "Welcome, welcome!" as she comes down the path. As soon as she emerges from the brush, I get up and go around the group of people. When she locks eyes with me, she throws the bucket she was carrying on her head to the ground and breaks into a dead run! She nearly nocked me down as we embraced. Then her laughter turned to sobs as she said over and over, "Thank you, Father! Thank you, Father!" The faith of these people still amazes me! It shines a light on my lack of faith as I live a life of luxury and want to stop each time it gets hard! But hard is a daily reality for this lady just to survive! She saw the album I brought her of Toben, and she just wept! It was such a sweet moment! I saw Toben's 12X12 mud hut that he called home before he came to Addy's Hope. I met the children that were born around the time he was. I could not grasp that if Toben was not in my home right now, this is where he would be! Walking around, probably with no clothes, dirty, hungry, smiling (as all the children are so happy!), but sentenced to a life of poverty and hardship simpling because of where he was born!

So there we were! Two moms, a world apart, sharing the love of a little boy! It was a magical moment really! Something that trying to explain would just ruin.

The whole day was kind of that way! I don't stop and think enough about the lives that we have touched. Pastor Paul, our staff Pastor, has reminded me so many times this week that we have changed the lives of 37 so far! There are another 59 waiting in our home. Then at each place we stopped, they asked us to please take children with us today! They longed for more children to be removed from the circumstances that so many are in, with no help from the government or any other organization. UNICEF is not helping them, yet they are against adoption. Save the Children are not helping them, yet they are against adoption. I am not against what they do. I still believe it will take all of us! But until they can feed and educate and clothe and provide shelter for ALL children, then adoption should be one of the options available!

I was reminded today that only but by the grace of God was I born in America and have the freedoms, joys and abundance that I am blessed to enjoy. Toben's mom didn't choose to be born into a country that was in the middle of civil war with bullet riddled houses and light posts, no infrastructure and no education system. It could have just as easily been me! But since I am the one with the abundance, then I have an obligation to do something to help those without. And because of that, I have to keep going! I have to keep fighting the battles and caring for the children! God used today to cement in me the calling He has on my life! It may get tough, but quitting is not an option!

Why I do it!

Ok, after my last post, I am renewed! The fight is the same! The struggles and obstacles are the same! But the faces....these faces.....

This is why I do it! God has placed a burden on me for these people as they have no voice right now! They are the forgotten of Liberia. There are many more than just those in this one village, but this is where God has called Addy's Hope. Our new building can be seen as a beacon of hope across the street. The foundation with the pillars....it is a sprititual site to see walking up. It represents beginnings, firm foundations, and progress!

We talked to Moses again. He is so excited to see us back...all of the people were! I got to see Patricia again and her baby boy. She is only a child herself, but she has this child to care for. Based on statistics, she has a 1 in 5 chance of losing him before he turns five years old. There were many more girls like Patricia. I held a baby that was a month old or so. I asked the mother how old he was, and she replied, "One year." They just don't have a concept of time...and why would it matter in a life like this?

Just a different world! I can get overwhelmed looking at all these people, but then I have to remember that I only have to walk in obedience! God hasn't called me to save Liberia from poverty, He has only called me to obedience, and through my obedience, and your obedience, and the obedience of the Body of Christ called to Liberia, God will save Liberia from the current conditions! And then He will recieve all the glory for it!

So tonight as I lay my head down on a bed in a home filled with children, I am thankful that God has placed this call on my life. It is hard, it is stressful, but it is so important! I love the people of this country, and I am thankful for the opportunity to serve them!

Same Song 5th Verse

This is my fifth trip to Liberia...the story is the same. A few have much while many have little. Those who have much don't seem to care that many have little. I have talked to so many who agree that what we are doing is a good thing. I ask them, if we don't take care of the 59 children in our home, who will? The Ministry of Health and Social Welfare does not have the money to take care of them. Their parents don't have the money to take care of them, that is why they are here! Do these people who are opposing adoption wanting the children to just starve? Is that ok? Why should I be ok with that? Should you be ok with that? But how do I fight it? God has called me to adoption. I have contemplated many times if I can just fund raise and help the people. But God has said no! Adoption is my calling! My passion! But we use what we make in adoption to change the lives of children and adults who are left in Liberia. Why is that a bad thing?

Our opposition is far and wide. Most are "Christians" that we fight. Both in Liberia and in America. How is that? How do people who call themselves followers of Christ work against us when our desire is to feed children and help them. The list of things we have done for Liberia goes on and on...and I hope it continues to go on and on some more! But right now, I have to worry about where the next month's meal and salary money will come from. Will the Ministry of Health help me if I can't feed the children? NO! Will President Sirleaf who put the ban on adoption feed the children next month? NO! It is up to me, ok, not really up to me since God is in total control, but you get the drift. I have to make sure the money is there. And if it is not, find the avenue that God wants to use to bring the money.

But the money is really just a small part. It is also the children who sit here with out a mommy and daddy to tuck them in. I am Mother HollyAnn here at Addy's Hope. When I come to the home at the end of every day, the kids bombard me. They want a hug..they want to hear someone say their name! Their little eyes light up every time I use their name! They want to be someone special! Doesn't every child deserve that? There are 18 families waiting to tell them just how special they are, but because of government and politics, they are not allowed to.

UNICEF and Save the Children would rather see them starve than go to another culture. I have always said, and still believe that the children should reaming with a family member if at all possible! But sometimes, that just can't happen. And with the poverty that is in Liberia, families cannot take in all the children that are in need in this country.

I could go on and on. I just don't understand. I know this is my call...I know there is no walking away from it. I entertain the idea now and then, but I know down deep that God has not released me, and probably will not for quite some time! So I must press on! I must draw closer to God so that I can lean on Him and rely on His wisdom and protection and guidance.

If you are reading this, pray for me. Pray that I would have the perseverance to sustain me even when it seems that nothing is happening. Pray that I would believe with all that is within me that God is working behind the scenes even when I don't see anything happening.

On a lighter note, I had a first this trip...well many firsts, but this one was surreal. I was walking down the hall at the capital and a guy said, "Hey, I saw you on tv last night!" It took me a minute to register, then I said, "Yes you did." I am never quite sure which side of the fence anyone is on with adoption so I didn't know if I was about to get slammed or congratulated. So I just started praying for the right words and attitude whatever remarks came. I am not sure he was totally pro-adoption, but he did say he enjoyed the porgram. I had another press conference, and this time the tv station was here. It was mainly on adoption education. There is still so much ignorance here about adoption. As the Liberians say, we have to change the mindset of the people. We will be traveling to some villages to help do just that while I am here. I am excited about that as I can meet more Liberians and get out of the Monrovia area to where the real need is.

I also had another first. I did a live radio interview. That was a little unnerving, but God was so faithful and gave me the words I needed. I even saw one of the government officials that I had talked to the day before in an elevator after the interview and she said she heard it. I kind of held my breath, but let it out when she said, "I was pleased with what was said!" Yes!

Headed to bed! I am going to take tomorrow to visit with some of the people I am trying to help...the people who have nothing in Liberia! I so want to improve their quality of life!

By the way...as I type this, I am listening to Barney as 30 some-odd Liberian children sing, "Clean up, Clean up, Everybody, Every where!" Got to love it! :)

Hello From Liberia!

Well, I am in Liberia! Sweating and laughing! I had a press conference today. I will be on tv tonight here in LIberia, but we don't have a tv, so I will not see it! :) I have a live radio interview in the morning...pray for me! We are trying to spread the word about adoption...what adoption is and isn't!

Pray for us tomorrow! It is a big day! We see God doing miracle after miracle! We give him thanks for that!

I'm headed to bed as I am exhausted!

God's sense of humor

Ok, I really don't have time to post, but since I work alone, sometimes I just need to post so someone hears me! :) And the irony of my day today just had to be shared!

So I am leaving for Liberia soon...haven't posted about it as I have many enemies that try to block my work in Liberia, so I need to keep them guessing right now!

But I really needed to work today. Lost on my "to-do" list to prepare for a trip, and this is a day when the little ones are in Children's Day Out. But God, in his sense of humor that I really don't understand most times, sees fit to allow Toben to come down with a stomach virus today. So about 20 minutes after I arrived at the office, I get a call that he has thrown up. So I pick him up and now at home working and loving on my sick boy!

The irony is that I am literally calling government officials inbetween pukes! It just hit me as hilarious..I actually laughed out loud! Only a mommy can find herself calling Liberia and Congress while cleaning up puke! You mommies out there can relate, I am sure! :)

What can I say?

I know you might think you have the cutest toddlers in the world, but I have to tell you...you are wrong! hee!hee! Because I have the cutest toddlers in the world! Take a look for yourself!



Recognize the bear??? That is "Lonely Bear", only we have had to change his name to Mr. Bear because he is no longer lonely! How could he be with a hug like that wrapped around him? Is that not the sweetest thing you have ever seen????!!! I am a blessed momma!